She's got the gifts of one liners, and the curse of curves.

So it's that time of the year again,the major holidays are over, summer is creeping around the seasonal corner, and my skinny jeans are tighter than Snoop in a Cadillac. Now, before people get defensive and offended let me qualify the rest of this blog with this statement- I understand I am not obese in any way, shape, or form, but after wishing I could grease my thighs to get my jeans on this morning, I realized that late night pizza and cook-out shakes, were probably contributing to the food baby bumb growing on my child-bearing hips. So, to remedy this problem I have decided to go back to the gym and "eat healthier" which as we all know, is a euphemism for giving up all things delicious. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a nice whole wheat bread and a cup of yogurt, but let's be honest, neither one holds a candle to a fresh baked brownie.

Yet, every time I jump back on the healthy bandwagon, I, for whatever reason, ask myself how June Clever kept her girlish figure? Did the house wives of the 50s put on a modest jogging suit, run around the block at a clip, and then come home just in time to throw on some pumps, and baste the turkey? In the midst of this Tim Burton daydream of a Norman Rockwell lifestyle, I remember that these women may not have had fancy gyms or even a pair of tennis shoes, but they did have a secret weapon: a healthy societal body image.

Have you ever seen a pin-up girl? A real one, not a painting, from the 40s, 50s, or 60s? They're gorgeous! They're round, and curvy, and voluptuous, hell, they look so good they made men wanna fight for their country! And the most attractive part about them is that they were real women. They weren't air brushed or spray tanned, they didn't suck, tuck, or shake weight, they just let their bodies do the talkin while men all over the world drooled. It's poetic really. :)

But sadly, this is no longer the case, well, not usually. And ladies, it's really not guys fault. Some may complain, but most (as I have said before) are great guys that think we're beautiful and enjoy a little something to grab onto. We are really our toughest critiques. We pinch, poke, and squeeze, imagining that things are bigger than they are, continuously drawing mustaches on Victoria Secret Models to tame the green eyed monster welling up within. When in fact, there is nothing wrong with us. Did you know that at least once a week women mentally add five pounds to the weight they see in the mirror?!Why do we do it? I mean, it doesn't make us happy.It doesn't do anything for our self-esteem, and if 9 times out of 10, guys think we look fine, then really, what's the point of beating ourselves up on the reg?

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the movie Eat, Pray, Love inspired by the book written by Elizabeth Gilbert. As Elizabeth and her Swedish friend Sophie sit in a pizzeria in Naples, each devouring their own pie, Elizabeth asks Sophie if she wants another. Sophie balks at the idea. She says she's been gaining weight and her and her boyfriend have started to get more serious so she really shouldn't if she's going to be expected to get naked soon. Before she can make up another excuse however, Elizabeth looks to her and says "Has any man every run away after you've taken your clothes off? No. They've reached their goal and they're not turning back once the gettin is good." And then, they each have another pizza.

Having struggled with my weight all of my life, even at one point battling an eating disorder (which is a lot more common in teenage girls than even the media would have you believe), I know disliking your body can pretty much ruin your life. But I'm done stressing over it, I think we all should be. So,I'm buying new skinny jeans and taking one from June,Elizabeth, and the countless women that lined the foot lockers of both World Wars, and letting the curves do the talking. I'll still go to they gym and probably lay off the 2am pizza, but only because I want to prolong my life span lol. I refuse however, to pinch, cinch, suck, poke, prode, or squeeze, because I think it's time we started to love ourselves again, brownies and all. :)