I'm a white girl. It's no secret. I'm pale as pale can be, so pale in fact that in the winter months, I may or may not glow in the dark. But, once I get some summer sun and increase my already incredibly high risk of getting skin cancer, I am a nice sun kissed bronze, and suddenly, all my clothes look better! And I wear less and less make-up! It's like a sun induced confidence boost! And with this confidence boost I've come to realize that tanning, is a lot like drinking.
Once you have consumed alcohol, everyone looks better, more attractive, and a whole lot happier.
Tanning is the same way. When people are tan, they look better, more attractive, and a whole lot happier. Heck, they look down right healthy! In fact, tanning actually makes people look thinner. Really! It's like the only way in the world to drop at least 5 pounds instantly and all you have to do is lay in a tanning bed or on the beach for 10 minutess a day. And if you really wanna look good, you could drink while you're doing it!
In fact, Hispanic and Black women are a prime example of how being un-white makes you look down right sexy. Our society always describes embellished women with naturally tinted complexions as curvy, voluptuous, and sassy. White chubby women however get sent to Jenny Craig with a celery stick because no one likes white rolls unless they're in a basket on the dinner table.
Yet, most unforunately, baking our pasty selves crispy isn't even a viable solution to the pale skin problem because, alack, like drinking, excessive tanning will not only give you wrinkles and skin like leather, it will also gift you with a first class case of skin cancer and kill you slowly and painfully. Ain't that a pip. Just goes to show that everything in life that's fun and makes you feel and look good will only kill you faster.
So the moral of the story is, eat tofu, live in a dark hole underground, and drink only water, and you'll live practically forever, even if you end up looking like an albino and are unable to see in the daylight. Oh wait, no worries, then you can just stake Bella and marry Edward Cullen :)
