The Case of the Pimpled Pincher

If you haven't already heard, I was robbed this morning. A squeaky clean thief with a love of fine toiletries, filched my rather pricey shampoo, conditioner, and face wash which included a rather relaxing and effective "scrublet". After being completely flabbergasted by the situation and writing a scathing facebook status (which was both assertive and entertaining so I could get as many "likes" as possible :p),I begrudgingly accepted the fact that the pilferer was never going to return their plunder. Then I decided to write this blog and assess the state of humanity which I have decided is as disheartening as cardiac arrest.

Once upon a time a man named Henry David Thoreau went to a pond named Walden and wrote a really boring book about living all alone in the northern wilderness with nothing but a pond with a charming name and a bean field. And even though the book is about as thrilling as watching grass grow and red ants battle each other for a grasshopper carcass, Thoreau managed to make one really valid point-people only steal because they are without. He believed if everyone had all of the same things and lived in the same social class, we would not only be communists, we would eradicate the art of thievery because no one would be left wanting.

It was this tid bit of philosophy that I attempted to use to understand why someone would take, not my entire shower basket complete with wash cloth, razor, and body wash, but simply my "big sexy curls" haircare products and blemish controlling foam. This is my conclusion:
I don't care if they had flat hair and zits and wanted sexy curls and blemish free skin, we are not at Walden pond, we are not communists, and I want my freaking stuff back :) Ground breaking right? I thought so.
So to everyone out there, just know that we no longer live in a world where you can leave your windows open and doors unlocked. You can't let your kids run wild until the street lights come on, and you most certainly cannot leave your shower caddy in a college bathroom. Because Car, Kids, or beauty products, if it's not nailed down, someone will take it and, like that hilarious and no famous black man on Youtube says, "they rapein' errbody out here" so do as he says and "hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and hide ya husbands too".