Women, for whatever reason, are always attracted to what society likes to call "bad boys". We do. We love their dominant demeanor, their broody personalities, and of course, their wild, care-free, seemingly invincible out-look on life. They make us feel protected and their wily ways make us feel like we must tame them. They are a challenge, a mystery, and incredibly sexy. They're what we dream about, and, 99% of the time they're the reason we cry ourselves to sleep, become best friends with Ben and Jerry, and question/despise everything we ever loved about ourselves. Because, sexy or not, they're, for lack of a more eloquent phrase, douche bags. And lately, they seem to have multiplied in number,infecting the masses faster than swine flu and breaking more hearts than McDonald's. The cause of this epidemic? A little ol' phrase I've heard muttered by some of the most outstanding men in this world- "Nice guys finish last" (minds out of the gutter please, this is serious business).
Every time I hear a fine upstanding gentlemen tell me they regret their chivalrous ways and kind heart, because girls walk all over them and end up dating/sleeping with/marrying a leather clad *insert foul slang word for male genitalia* I am incensed!
"What is wrong with these women?" I exclaim. "Don't they understand that you think they're perfect in every way and their prick of a boyfriend critiques them into shamed submission?!"
But,as true as my blunt ejaculations are, they make me a hypocrite, because I too continuously chase after the bad boys. I pray, beg, and plead even, for love to come my way. I cry out to the heavens "Dear God! Bring me a man like Bruno Mars who will love me just the way I am! Who will catch a grenade for me even if I kiss him with my eyes wide open!" And now, in hindsight of course because no one ever sees clearly any other way, I see that God has given me many Brunos to fawn over. Attractive men. Strong men. Sexy Men! Men that have lofty goals and ambitions! who are genuinely good people that just want to find a girl and make her happy. To give her the world on a silver platter. They even want to be faithful! I mean, these guys are the real deal, shining armour and everything.
And I always wrote them off, as so many of us do, because they were so easy to love. There was no fight for acceptance, no dysfunction to re-figure, and no guess work. Oh,the money I could have saved on daises with these men! Never having to sit for hours anxiously chanting "he loves me, he loves me not".But time and time again, I walked away from happiness and strode into the steroid assisted arms of confliction and low self-esteem. Because, for whatever reason, our culture has brain washed me and my fellow females to believe that if you aren't fighting, or if you aren't working at it, your relationship is almost, indefinitely broken. So we seek out challenges we never win and, most unfortunately, break the sweetest of hearts.
So this blog is an apology to all the good guys out there. To the white horse riding, armour clad, dragon slaying men who have been fooled, by many women, into believing they "just aren't good enough"; I am truly sorry. You are never given enough credit and always seem to get the short end of the stick. You get cheated on, used, heck, you might even have been abused, and you most definitely finish last. But, only because God saves the best for last. For, after we've had enough of the bad boy blues, we come back, battle scarred and bedraggled, begging you to give us another chance, dying to be rescued from our tower. And, then, after many more apologies and a few dinners before and after a couple dozen movies, you live happily ever after.
I'd rather like a few examples of these good guys you snubbed.
ReplyDeleteRather than being an attentitive student,I just read this during chem class and couldn't help laughing out loud several times (hence disturbing the people around me). You my dear are a geniussss. I cant WAIT to see you this weekend!
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous Person,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you will check back and read this but if you must know, there haven't been that many men snubbed because I generally try not to "talk" to multiple men at one time and I do, contrary I'm sure to some people's belief, try to avoid emotional pain to both parties at all costs. However, running from someone because they're too good to you is not a reason to run at all. Which is why I wrote this blog, to apologize and promise to change :) Because I've realized there are exceptional men in my life that I'd be stupid not to get to know a little better.
So I know this is a little late, but I just checked my blog and very surprisingly realized I had a new follower... you :) So I thought to myself "self lets see what Grace has to say" You write with a lot of wisdom, and fearlessly address a much to common problem, one that has indeed been plunged into my chest. I am curious though.... As a white riding armor wearing man who humble speaks of himself as such, what do we do while we wait? The problem is deeper than "I'm not good enough" it attacks the soul, and when we ask this question everything comes into question, who we are, what we do, all those goals you talked about what are they worth if we achieve them alone. Alas, we could spend hours contemplating, days reflecting and never attempt to change what society seems to make girls want. So with this promise of change, how will you do it, how will you assist in the opening of your fellow woman's eyes? Great post it captivated me in ways few posts do.
ReplyDeletefinishing last becomes a way of life for us. we basically just get used to lonely nights. the pain of those nights never ends but we've come to understand that they are there. but it is also our fault, we do the same things you do when we find someone willing to give in to the charms that we carry we try and find reasons to make that person something we do not want. we are just as dumb as we are caring. we never speak up when we know something is there, we try to get something we know we can not have, we do all these things in hopes that those nights will finally be spent with someone who cares just as much as we do. but our biggest problem is not being able to let go of the past, and not letting those go who we've cared about. no matter how badly we want to we just can not say goodbye when needed. those "bad boys" win because we let them
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