Good Girls Go Bad

Women, for whatever reason, are always attracted to what society likes to call "bad boys". We do. We love their dominant demeanor, their broody personalities, and of course, their wild, care-free, seemingly invincible out-look on life. They make us feel protected and their wily ways make us feel like we must tame them. They are a challenge, a mystery, and incredibly sexy. They're what we dream about, and, 99% of the time they're the reason we cry ourselves to sleep, become best friends with Ben and Jerry, and question/despise everything we ever loved about ourselves. Because, sexy or not, they're, for lack of a more eloquent phrase, douche bags. And lately, they seem to have multiplied in number,infecting the masses faster than swine flu and breaking more hearts than McDonald's. The cause of this epidemic? A little ol' phrase I've heard muttered by some of the most outstanding men in this world- "Nice guys finish last" (minds out of the gutter please, this is serious business).

Every time I hear a fine upstanding gentlemen tell me they regret their chivalrous ways and kind heart, because girls walk all over them and end up dating/sleeping with/marrying a leather clad *insert foul slang word for male genitalia* I am incensed!
"What is wrong with these women?" I exclaim. "Don't they understand that you think they're perfect in every way and their prick of a boyfriend critiques them into shamed submission?!"

But,as true as my blunt ejaculations are, they make me a hypocrite, because I too continuously chase after the bad boys. I pray, beg, and plead even, for love to come my way. I cry out to the heavens "Dear God! Bring me a man like Bruno Mars who will love me just the way I am! Who will catch a grenade for me even if I kiss him with my eyes wide open!" And now, in hindsight of course because no one ever sees clearly any other way, I see that God has given me many Brunos to fawn over. Attractive men. Strong men. Sexy Men! Men that have lofty goals and ambitions! who are genuinely good people that just want to find a girl and make her happy. To give her the world on a silver platter. They even want to be faithful! I mean, these guys are the real deal, shining armour and everything.

And I always wrote them off, as so many of us do, because they were so easy to love. There was no fight for acceptance, no dysfunction to re-figure, and no guess work. Oh,the money I could have saved on daises with these men! Never having to sit for hours anxiously chanting "he loves me, he loves me not".But time and time again, I walked away from happiness and strode into the steroid assisted arms of confliction and low self-esteem. Because, for whatever reason, our culture has brain washed me and my fellow females to believe that if you aren't fighting, or if you aren't working at it, your relationship is almost, indefinitely broken. So we seek out challenges we never win and, most unfortunately, break the sweetest of hearts.

So this blog is an apology to all the good guys out there. To the white horse riding, armour clad, dragon slaying men who have been fooled, by many women, into believing they "just aren't good enough"; I am truly sorry. You are never given enough credit and always seem to get the short end of the stick. You get cheated on, used, heck, you might even have been abused, and you most definitely finish last. But, only because God saves the best for last. For, after we've had enough of the bad boy blues, we come back, battle scarred and bedraggled, begging you to give us another chance, dying to be rescued from our tower. And, then, after many more apologies and a few dinners before and after a couple dozen movies, you live happily ever after.

Jays or Stilettos, I'm always Barefoot.

I'm a feminist. I believe in equality. But, I'm also not easily fooled, and ladies and gentlemen, it is my inherent belief that women everywhere are hoodwinking society into believing they truly want equality when really, they want their own set or rules. Confused? Allow me to explain.

When women wanted the right to vote, they did everything in their power to make it happen. Now, women vote just as much, maybe even more than men. In this respect, women are equal.

When women wanted to go into the work force, they fought and are still fighting to get payed just as much as men doing the same jobs. In this respect, women are becoming equal.

When women wanted to join the military however, they made their own rules. They decided that there had to be, for lack of a better term, "easier" physical requirements because they were weaker than men. They decided that even though they wanted to serve when they chose too, being excluded from the draft was just dandy. And, when women decided they had the right to attend the academies, they shouldn't be exposed to the traditional hazing and ludicrously strict and uniform environment, because they were women. They needed privacy from each other in the bathrooms, blinds on their windows so as not to tempt peeping toms, and yet again, they should not be expected to physically perform on the same standards as the men at their institution.

I know someone is going to hate me for saying this, but that is not, by any means, equality. In fact, as a feminist, I am disgusted. Not only are military men and the male students at the academies held to higher standards only because they are men and women do not feel capable enough to meet said standards; neither the men, nor the women at the academies, are receiving the education they signed up for. Take VMI for example. The last military academy to remain males only. It was an institution grounded in tradition, formed on brotherhood, and revered for it's commitment to the scrupulous training of young men who wished to serve their country. They had rules that did not allow doors or stalls in the bathroom, showers were open and communal, blinds were never installed on windows, beds were rolled each day to avoid napping, freshmen or "rats" were hazed in good humor by upperclassmen, and traditionally, before the rats graduated to sophomores, they had to climb a steep mudded hill to both literally and symbolically join the upperclassmen on the other side. These things, along with many others, made VMI, VMI. When women joined, all of this changed, therefore making VMI less than what it was. So really, women aren't even receiving the education they wanted so badly to be a part of because it has been watered down to accommodate them. Again, this is not equality.

Now, women in the armed forces want to be allowed in submarines. Historically they have been excluded because having men and women in close quarters with each other almost always leads to more passengers if you know what I'm saying. I would have no problem with a co-ed submarine slumber party, if women also wanted to be allowed to be drafted. Or, if they were striving to meet male physical requirements, but the cold hard truth is that they aren't. Everything is on female terms, and I can't stand it.

Equality for women will not come if we simply try to fill men's shoes or cobble them down to fit our feet, but when we fill their shoes and then start designing our own.

In historically male professions, we're going to have to play by their rules to get any kind of credit, to eventually "design our own shoes", just as men in historically female professions have to play by our rules to design theirs.

Only after these steps have been taken can I dream of a world when I no longer have to worry about who's shoes I'm wearing, because I'm going barefoot on my own path that I have forged, not by bending the trail to my will, but by stumbling through the brambles and transforming into a stronger woman by the time I reach my destination.